At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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