and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
