omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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