sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
