Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
