i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
