Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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