ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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