I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
