Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
