she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
