Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
