could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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