I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
