U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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