I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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