this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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