I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
