i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
