Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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