As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You're a waste of cheezeits
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Everyone says I win the strip club
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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