Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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