maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
