i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize