Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
