do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
