Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just found puke in my bra..
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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