Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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