i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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