i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
