He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Randomize
