somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
