I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
