I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
