dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
