It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
