I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
