Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we have pet lesbian snakes
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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