...so i touched it.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
