I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
