I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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