last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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