READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
