The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
