We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My vagina is officially offended.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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