maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
