honey bunches of taint.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
