HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Pooping to opera.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
