i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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