Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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