Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
