He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
