My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
How's work?
Spinning.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
