Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So vagazzling was a success
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