i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
