It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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