The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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