Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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