Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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