She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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